究竟誰是全美最 "惡質" 的恐怖球迷?

其實我們洋基球迷都是很nice的~ 其中一定有什麼誤會

洋基球場有群惡名昭彰的 Bleacher Creatures 早就不是什麼新聞
不僅對所有膽敢來訪洋基球場的客隊施行長達數小時的言語暴力、
對於同性戀、透過StubHub買票 (StubHub Asshole!)、擁有包廂或是內野季票的洋基球迷也有著莫名敵意...

除了這群讓客隊球員和球迷惡夢連連、就連許多理應站在同一陣線的洋基球迷 (甚至球員) 都避之唯恐不及的"怪物"外、
洋基球迷 (應該適用在紐約各項職業運動球迷) 總是給人對於球員和球隊表現有著極高要求、愛恨分明、
對主隊提供支持的同時也給予來訪隊伍極大心理壓力的印象
甚至還因此成了許多球員在紐約效力期間表現不如預期的"正當理由" (藉口?)...
在美國算算也只不過待了六年、而且超過百分之99.9%的時間都滯留在紐約的我、
還傻傻地以為洋基球迷就真的是紐約媒體和許多球員口中全美國最恐怖的一群狂熱份子

結果原來一切都是自我感覺太過良好 (或是該說"太過不良") ?!
紐約客的好勝心讓他們就連在比"惡劣"上都不願意輸人...欣然接受 (自封) 全美最惡劣球迷的封號


這小朋友長大後會不會成為青出於藍而勝於藍的 Bleacher Creature ?


之前 "江湖傳言" Cliff Lee 的老婆因為在季後賽期間於洋基球場遭受主場球迷言語暴力、
甚至可能因此影響小李飛刀做出拒絕洋基提出的天價合約...
到頭來一切只是因為 Kristen Lee 沒有試著以客隊球迷身分坐在費城 Citizens Bank Park 觀眾席中經驗
否則我看她八成會覺得洋基球場其實是個溫馨和樂、兄友弟恭的大家庭、
而 Bleacher Creatures 其實就是迪士尼動畫 Monster, Inc. 中外表凶惡但卻有著天使心腸的怪獸真人版

或許是為了趕搭 March Madness 的順風車
這期的美國版GQ雜誌中有篇以 The Worst Sports Fans in America (全美最惡質球迷) 為題的文章
其中跨運動領域、也不分大學和職業運動地列出了前15"強" (前15"劣"?)
原本信心滿滿會奪下榜首的洋基球迷除了僅勉強擠進前十強外 (第九名)、就連惡行罪狀的描述都只有完全不見任何重點和事實佐證的短短兩句、不到50字的內容
(作者就連對排名第15名的洛杉磯湖人隊球迷都用字數三倍以上的150字來控訴)

至於將大本營設在被稱為 The City of Brotherly Love 友愛之城、
讓 Cliff Lee 寧可放棄紐約洋基雙手捧上的大筆鈔票、背棄好友 C.C. Sabathia 的殷殷期盼、
不惜破壞 H2O (Halladay, Hamels, Oswalt) 這個完美稱號都要硬把自己塞進這 "只應 天上 MLB 2K11 有" 的史上最強先發輪值中、
其狀況對比傳出經營危機的同區死敵紐約大都會、更讓之前連續幾季兩隊捉對廝殺、國聯東區版的基襪世仇儼然成型的過去看來像是遠古時代歷史的費城人
卻和同城的NFL費城老鷹隊聯手拿下這排行榜的前兩名...


就是這種過於燦爛的微笑讓洋基球迷比壞都比輸費城人...

該死...洋基在今年全國制霸的看好度落後給費城人和紅襪就算了、
就連比球迷的惡質程度上都輸給這兩支紅衫軍 (紅襪球迷名列第六) ?!

原來洋基球迷其實是很nice的~ 大家 (包括身為洋基球迷的我在內) 都誤會了

以下就是刊登在本期 (April 2011) GQ雜誌的全文...



The Worst Sports Fans in America
by Adam Winer

GQ's heavily researched, highly scientific accounting of the bleacher creatures, bottle-throwers, couch-torchers, sexual harassers, projectile vomiters, and serially indifferent bandwagon-hoppers marring our national landscape. Residents of the City of Brotherly Love: You might want to start planning your victory parade right now

15. Los Angeles Lakers
Starfuckers

Congratulations, Angelenos! You are the fairest of America's fair-weather fans! The Lakers unfaithful abandoned their team en masse when Magic retired in 1991, then reconfirmed their fickleness by sending local TV ratings plummeting 30 percent after Shaq departed in 2004. Meanwhile, in these championship days, the Staples Center is more bar scene than sports complex, where fans can't be bothered to clap—their hands are too busy texting. "The focus is sometimes not on the court," coach Phil Jackson has said. "It's on the people in the crowd." Which explains why eight box suites were recently combined into an offshoot of an abominable nightclub, the Hyde Lounge. After VIPs pass a clipboard gauntlet—at a sports stadium—they can eat $21 nachos at a crocodile-skin bar while waiting for the space to transform into a postbuzzer dance club. When it's time to leave, a valet will even bring around their bandwagon.

14. University of Oregon Basketball
Hecklers from Hell

With a firm dedication to taking taunts too far, the Oregon Duck faithful have a storied history of degeneracy that can be traced all the way back to the days when someone beaned legendary coach John Wooden with a half-eaten apple. But the crowning violation of the school's "Code of ConDUCKt" (their unforgivable pun, not ours) occurred in 2008, when former Oregon high school standout Kevin Love dared return home playing for rival UCLA. Ducks fans distributed Love's cell-phone number before the game and left him some 400 voice mails, featuring such witty messages as "If you guys win, we'll come to your house and kill your family." Once in the stadium, students proceeded to (a) hold up signs enumerating the ways Love was a homosexual, (b) throw food at his family in the stands, and (c) call his grandmother a whore until she cried. Way to get in the old lady's head, Oregon!

13. University of Wisconsin Football
Boozehounds

Drunken Badgers have amassed such a glorious history of harassing visiting fans—there was that time they threw glass beer bottles at a 7-year-old—that UW became the nation's first school to install Breathalyzers at the gate. With their "Show and Blow" program (again: their name, not ours), the university requires breath checks of any student previously booted from a game for an alcohol violation. And fans aren't the only ones blowing. The entire 300-member marching band was suspended for one game in 2008 due to repeated incidents of alcohol abuse and—wait for it—sexualized hazing.

12. Dallas Cowboys
Deluded Trash-Talkers

The swaggering diaspora of Dallas fans insufferably mouth off about the invincibility of "America's Team," as if they're rooting for our entire country and not a franchise that has won two playoff games in the past fifteen years. To set the record straight: The nickname came from a 1978 Cowboys highlight reel, not some edict from Uncle Sam. And they've sworn their allegiance to a front-running team that isn't even good enough to run up front anymore.

11. Montreal Canadiens
Frostbitten Hooligans

Forget the riots that erupted last May after the Canadiens made it to the Eastern Conference final; they were nothing compared with the hordes of looters who set fire to five police cars during the 2008 playoffs simply because Montreal advanced past the first round. Meanwhile, inside the Bell Centre, the only things people boo more frequently than the U.S. national anthem are their own players. In 2003, team veteran Patrice "Breeze-by" Brisebois was heckled almost every time he touched the puck; the jeering was so intense it likely induced a stress-related irregular heartbeat. How did then GM Bob Gainey feel about his bloodthirsty fan base? "I think they're a bunch of gutless bastards, to be honest," he said.

10. Louisiana State University Football
Deep-Fried Lunatics

Opposing players and fans who visit Death Valley are considered, as LSU supporters will kindly remind them via drunken shouts to the face, "Tiger bait!" That's the kind of southern hospitality that arises from LSU's signature night games, which allow for a full day of tailgate-based drinking. The administration had to apologize in 2005 after the Tiger faithful so ferociously pelted Tennessee's team bus with beer bottles that they cracked windows. For a story on how hostile LSU tailgaters were to opposing fans, female staffers from the university's student newspaper roamed their school's notorious daylong drinkathon disguised in Alabama gear. "We were groped and squeezed by just about every guy we interviewed," they reported. "The women called us 'bitches' and the men called us 'cunts.' " Anything else? "The amount of times we were spit on also struck a nerve."

9. New York Yankees
Satan's Chosen Team

Remember everything you hate about New York? If not, Yankees fans will be happy to remind you.

8. Duke University Basketball
Silver-Spoon Bullies

Duke fans who complain that everyone hates them because they're too good are like cheerleaders who complain that everyone hates them because they're too pretty. Sorry, princess! Soaked with arrogance (and Dick Vitale tongue baths), the Dukies have hit NC State with the chant "If you can't go to college, go to State!" while UNC has gotten the blunter "We're smart! You're dumb!" This from the crowd who interminably claim to be the classiest in all of basketball. Here's what the most reviled fans in college sports don't understand: When everyone already resents you for being a perennial national champion, brainstorming new ways to make fun of people doesn't make you clever. It makes you a dick.

7. Penn State University Football
Urine Tossers

Behold: a group of fans so vile that the university had to adopt a resolution denouncing "negative cheering" all the way back in 2000. Loophole: They didn't tell the kids not to throw stuff! Thus students from the Princeton Review's 2010 top party school have pelted visiting players and band members with snowballs, mud balls, and bottles of urine. Lacking projectiles during the 2008 riots that followed a win over Ohio State, Penn fans uprooted small trees to hurl at police. And let's not forget the notorious 2007 incident in which a crowd of onlookers cheered as a student chased down two OSU fans and threw a full can of beer at their heads. Video of that assault was proudly posted on YouTube, tagged as "comedy."

6. Boston Red Sox
Insufferable Hypocrites

Winning the 2004 World Series was the worst thing to ever happen to Red Sox fans. Having been beaten into a state of lovable-loserdom by generations of championship futility, they now seem intent on living out some sort of horsehided cycle of domestic violence, inflicting upon us everything that for eighty-six years was inflicted upon them. It is a display of epic hypocrisy. All their whining about the Yankees' salary-driven Evil Empire? They now gloat while drubbing opponents with what is routinely the second-highest-paid roster in baseball. All that self-satisfaction about being a bunch of scruffy underdogs? They blindly maintained it while winning the 2007 World Series with a payroll almost $90 million higher than Colorado's. All these continuing claims to be an elite group of die-hard supporters? They have the biggest legion of bandwagon fans in the country, pushing past the Pinstripes as baseball's top-drawing road team in 2005, 2007, and 2008. These days, Red Sox fans are indistinguishable from Yankees fans—just with more grating accents.

5. University of Maryland Basketball
Night Terrors

The Five Worst Terrapin Riots

5) February 12, 2005: An estimated 3,000 fans take to the streets after a regular-season win over Duke. Objects are thrown off roofs. Couches are burned in the streets. Police arrest at least fourteen.

4) March 3, 2010: A regular-season upset of Duke results in twenty-seven arrests. Video of the confrontations shows police severely beating an unarmed reveler. Probably the only guy who didn't deserve it.

3) April 1, 2002: To celebrate the team's national-championship win, students pick up metal barriers and use them as battering rams against police. Six patrol cars are damaged. A state trooper loses two teeth after being hit in the face with a wooden board.

2) March 31, 2001: Mourning a Final Four loss, despondent fans loot local homes in order to burn the stolen furniture. They melt a cable line that leaves 30,000 residents without TV service. Total damages? $500,000.

1) April 4, 2006: Students light street fires, throw bottles, and try to tip over a bus—after a win by their women's basketball team.

4. Oakland Raiders
Criminals

Ever since John Madden collected the NFL's most vicious trouble cases into a Super Bowl–winning wrecking crew, the Silver and Black have attracted an unholy fan base of hell-raisers, gangbangers, and inveterate knife-lickers, all of whom firmly believe that skipping town for an away game is well worth the parole violation. (The Raiders' 1999 visit to San Diego resulted in so many midgame stadium fights that even the players on the field turned to watch.) Still, while Raider Nation has a sterling record of glorifying criminality, it must be noted that their long-standing tradition of attending home games dressed in ridiculously elaborate handcrafted costumes is fierce only insofar as that term is used on Project Runway.

3. West Virginia University Mountaineers
Mad Arsonists

Yeah, sure, they've been condemned by the local mayor for shouting obscenities on national television broadcasts. And yes, given their history, it wasn't really surprising last season when Pitt's assistant basketball coach got pegged in the face with a metallic object (specifically, a quarter). But what really defines the West Virginia University faithful is their devotion to celebratory arson. The school led the nation in intentionally set street fires from 1997 to 2003, lighting up an unmatchable 1,120 blazes. That includes 120 in a single night to celebrate a football win over Virginia Tech in 2003 and sixty infernos set to celebrate advancing to the second round of the NCAA basketball tournament in 2005. When school is in session these days, the local fire department reports that it extinguishes as many as twelve Dumpster fires in a week. It's all in keeping with the school's (real) unofficial fan motto: Win or lose, we still booze!

2 and 1. Philadelphia Eagles and Philadelphia Phillies
The Meanest Fans in America

Over the years, Philadelphia fans have booed Santa Claus, their own star players, and most absurdly, the recipient of America's very first hand transplant, whose crime was dribbling in a ceremonial first pitch—thrown with his freshly transplanted hand. Boooo! Admittedly, there are some things fans have cheered. Like Michael Irvin's career-ending neck injury and a fan being tased on the outfield grass. Things reached their nadir last season, when Citizens Bank Park played host to arguably the most heinous incident in the history of sports: A drunken fan intentionally vomited on an 11-year-old girl. The truth is this: All told, Philadelphia stadiums house the most monstrous collection of humanity outside of the federal penal system. "Some of these people would boo the crack in the Liberty Bell," baseball legend Pete Rose once said. More likely, these savages would have thrown the battery that cracked it.